Chameleon Personality

Lately I've been wondering how I can get people to like me. Not in a "Man, I wish I had more friends" kind of way but more of a "How the hell do these people like me?" kind of way. I'll be perfectly honest, I wouldn't be my friend. I generally regard myself as kind of a tool. But I think I've finally figured it out.
I'm a chameleon.
I change my personality depending on who I'm with. Now, I'm not saying I'm hiding my true self from certain people. It's more like I'm compartmentalizing my personality. Certain parts come out during certain situations.
If I'm with my friends who like Magic, Doctor Who, Star Wars, etc. I'm more of a nerd around them. If I'm at church I'm more of a theologian. With a girl? Charming, flirty, and a small amount of asshole.
But there's always one thing that connects them: comedy. I like to pride myself on my God given talent to make people laugh. I think deep down that's what everyone wants, a friend who can make them laugh. And that's how I can get people to like me.
In the movie Beer League Artie Lange has line that helped me realize all this. "You know who gets laid less than funny fat guys? Serious fat guys, and I feel sorry for those assholes." While I don't focus so much on the "getting laid" part of the dialogue I do think he has a point. The nice guy is going to have more friends and in turn have more luck with the opposite sex. The serious guy will have friends too but they won't be able to connect with them. He's always serious, he never wants to joke around or open his mind to others ideas.
Take my friend, who we'll call Jared, for example. Jared just turned 23 and has never had a girlfriend or even a first kiss. He's the serious guy. Kind of. He'll make a joke but not right for the situation. He'll listen to other ideas, but only to disregard them immediately. He acts nice to a girl but then feels he's owed something for it. He doesn't get that you become friends with people to be their friends, not to just find a significant other. It's not an easy thing to accept but once you do it makes being friends a lot easier with people.
A few years ago he really liked this girl who he would smoke with once in a while and one day I came to visit and met her. I watched how he acted with her. He barely talked to her at all. They talked about a movie and that was the one conversation I saw in the two hours she was there. It was kind of weird. The next week he called me and said that he was going to ask her out on a date. She said no, because she wasn't looking for a boyfriend at the time. What was Jared's reaction? To stop talking to her. Completely. He hasn't mention her in three years. It's too bad that he couldn't just try being her friend but that's what happens when you're the serious guy.
Now, I'm not going to brag about my relationships but I at least recognize how to talk to people, usually. That's what gets me into trouble sometimes. I know what people want to hear. I've gotten into some relationships that were a mistake and it's because I didn't turn off the funny guy routine. Because eventually you come to the conclusion that you can't be funny all the time. You have to be serious every now and then. The less you do it, the harder it gets. Recently I had to break up with someone for the first time. It was hard going from the funny guy to the "I'm sorry, it's over." guy. I hated it, but it's something that I had to do.
But there is one thing that makes up for it. Hope. I have hope that one day I'll find love. Jared doesn't. He honestly thinks he'll die alone. As much as I hate to say it but if he keeps living with that attitude he probably will. He never goes out and meets people. He sticks to the same friends year after year. I love my friends dearly but they're not the only ones I'm going to have for the rest of my life. I know I'll meet new people over the course of my life and I'm glad. Don't get me wrong, I still want to hang out with my old friends but I still want new friends too. I actually miss my friend a lot. Feppy, MH, MP, El Sid, and Zehos. You're always going to be some of my best friends and I love you guys.

Wow, this got way off topic really fast but whatever. If you actually read this whole thing give yourself a pat on the back. Until next time, I hope you have champagne wishes and caviar dreams.